Christmas Letter 2010

Merry Christmas! Since we are back to college life and living on loans, we are being super frugal these days, and that includes the Christmas letter. I can think of many words to describe the last 18 months... crazy, fun, unexpected, sad, down-right rotten, lonely, happy. One would think our lives are quite bi-polar these days. It all started with my Dad being diagnosed with cancer back in the summer of 2009. Then Benn lost his job with KHS&S in the fall of that same year and Carter was diagnosed with Asperger's as well. We didn't send out Xmas cards that year. I guess I was sort of a scrooge a year ago, and now I still feel a bit the same way, but I miss my friends this holiday. So I thought I would do this through the world wide web, save some $$$ and hopefully get some Xmas cards in return.

So to summarize 2010, I would have to start with Benn. Soon after he was let go from KHS&S Contractors, he found another job with a much smaller "mom & pop" contractor, Pier Construction. He was able to work with them for six months and then was let go as well. That was back in May. Almost immediately we thought that he should return to school to further his education. We had tossed around the idea before, but now it made more sense. Construction jobs in Vegas were at a 54% unemployment rate, so with those odds, Benn applied to Westminster's MBA program in Salt Lake City. Surprisingly to him, not me, he got accepted. During the summer he worked odd jobs and did valet as well. In August when the kids were done with school we moved just the basics with us SLC. We are currently staying with my parents who have welcomed us in. They have been so accommodating to us as we have for sure turned their lives upside down!!! It has been an adjustment on everyone's part, but I think we have some normality now.

Benn really likes his classes and is using most of his time to study, which is paying off, as far as his grades go. He is still looking for a job, and helping out the neighbors with home improvements in the mean time. Unfortunately, basketball has come to a halt. There does not seem to be a group in SLC quite like the Vegas boys who would get together every Tuesday night at the stake center to hoop it up. Just one of things missed about our Vegas home.

Kamryn was most upset at the news were were going to move, as was expected. But I have to say that she has adjusted quite well, as I knew she would! She has made some good friends and seems to be liking her new school. She still takes piano, and thanks to her "Pa," she and Carter are learning to snowboard this winter. They have had one lesson so far, to which she commented that she had the cutest board there. That's my girl! Kamryn is also doing a fair share of babysitting for her aunts and uncles. She loves spending time with her younger cousins.

Carter also took the news that we were moving pretty hard. He was most upset about leaving his school and his tutor, Desi. Those were my same concerns with Carter as well. We left an amazing school with amazing teachers who knew Carter and helped him and cared for him. And Desi, his tutor, was really part of the family by the time we announced we were moving. We miss her terribly. But, we have found good people here in SLC. There are a couple older boys who have taken a liking to Carter. They invite him to go play roller-hockey, ride bikes and rip-stick. He likes the attention and we are still working on his social skills. Now that we know about Carter's Asperger's, it helps explain several things, but at the same time, it's hard to know how to help him and who to go to for help. Fortunately, there have been many helpful people here. The elementary school has programs and aids to help kids such as Carter. His teacher is also proving to be very accommodating. She is mindful of Carter and the challenges he has.

Other than that, Carter is still the same kid and we wouldn't change his uniqueness for anything! We love that he can impersonate the comedian, Brian Regan, perfectly, rattle off a bunch of facts about tornadoes and the weather, and can play Band Hero like he's the lead guitar in a rock band. He has been very brave when we signed him up for a surf camp this summer and also when he went snowboarding for the first time. He also tackled the first weeks of school without any complaint. He loves riding his bike to and from school and the freedom he has to ride down to the church to play or go to scouts.

Mason also enjoys tagging along with Carter down to the church to ride bikes, he just needs to remember to stay on the side of the road and wear a helmet! Mason was the most excited to move to SLC, although I don't think he realized what that meant. A couple weeks later he told me that we have to go back to Las Vegas because his friend, Cole, misses him. Mase started kindergarten and has loved it from the first day. He loves doing his homework and insists that we pack him a lunch like we do, Kam and Carter, even though he is in morning kindergarten! He loves to play with his cousin, Beckham, and has made a good neighbor friend as well. Mason still loves to wear his cowboy boots with any and all outfits. But now that there's snow on the ground he wears his snow-boots every day.

Here are the things I miss: Church with the Seven Hills Ward, warm weather, Elise L Wolff teachers, all my friends from living 11 years in the same area, my kids friends, basketball Tuesdays, my house, a paycheck, my husband working, running along Coronado, being a full-time mom, the Christmas cards that would come every year (and hopefully will this year too!), tennis with James every week.

Here are the things I am enjoying: Being with my family, the fall season, the snow, seeing my kids thrive despite the state of our lives, Benn going to school, running at Sugarhouse Park, watching Kam and Carter snowboard, catching up with long time friends.

Since July of 2009, I feel like I have aged quite a bit. I feel tired and worn out a lot. I keep thinking that things can't get worse, but then something happens that makes me realize that it can always get worse. I need to make the most of what is going on now. I talk myself through my many blessing almost every night. Some perks of the last while have been the Hawaii trip this past May. That was definitely the highlight of the year (if you've been reading my blog, I'm sure you can tell!) We did have a couple trips to Lake Powell, which is always good for brightening my spirits. I taught swim lessons during the summer and was very sad to leave my clients and their kids.

Since moving to SLC, I have been on a roller coaster of emotions. I cried everyday for the first week of school, cause that meant we really weren't on some sort of extended vacation. When those down times come, I give myself a minute or two of self pity then try to move on (Thanks for the advice, Stacy!). I know this is where the Brindley Family is supposed to be right now, but that doesn't make it any easier. I am so glad I am in love with Benn!! We continue to laugh together and have fun with our kids. It's funny how simple our lives are now, but at the same time, so much more stressful!

I am so grateful to my parents for their unconditional love and endless support and encouragement. We are making the most of our time together and hopefully one day we will look back on this time with good memories of Pa telling the boys bedtime stories and Nana helping Kamryn with her piano, sharing meals together & FHE (family home evening) and sitting together at church each Sunday.... Yes, we will reminisce while dining together at the Beach House Restaurant in Kauai. A treat to my wonderful parents, not only a great meal but a vacation in paradise. All because Benn will have a KICK A** job in 10 years and we can afford to do so! A girl can dream, right?

Alright, enough about us, we want to hear from our friends, so please send us your Christmas cards to our new address:

2608 Hillside Pines Circle

Salt Lake City, Utah 84109

Day 6 - My Favorite Beach of All Time

Thurs. May 13th - Barking Sands/Polihale.

We are not certain what this beach is called. We call it Barking Sands, but on maps it's also called Palihale State Park. This beach isn't too frequented by tourists. The conditions to get there are not the best. It's about an hour drive from Poipu and the last half of the drive almost makes you forget that there is a beautiful beach at the end of the dirt road. The last 30 minutes you bounce around in the mini-vans, feeling like you are gonna puke because of the large pot holes and washboard conditions of the unpaved road. And just before you get to the beach, you think, "Is this beach really worth it?". Then you get there and... YES it is!!! It's on the "hot" part of the island so if you ever go, make sure you go in the morning!

First of all, I have to say that this picture above is one of my favorites of the trip. I love this beach and I love the Mountains in the background. I love the blue sky and the perfect day that it was. I love my sisters who are in the picture as well as my dad. But most of all I love the expression on my Dad's face. I know he was looking forward to this trip for a long time and was just as excited as the rest of us to go (maybe even more). His expression to me is one of happiness and contentment. Being with his kids, having fun, making memories for eight days. Not to mention, being in paradise. He looks calm, relaxed and content. That is a such a wonderful state to be in!

The was a steep drop off from the beach to the water, which made a great conditions for Ben to buried.

The flip flops are always on the list of things to buy in Hawaii. They are great flippers and very inexpensive too. Longs Drug and Walmart are the favorite places to buy these treasures. Maybe they aren't that great, but the Rosander's love 'em and all the colors they come in!

Just thought this was a cute picture with everyone standing the exact same way :)

This is Jody's view of her feet at the time

Super cool boogie boarding boys!

It's become a bit of tradition now to stop for lunch at McDonald's on the way back to Poipu after we have had our fun at Barking Sands. I'm pretty sure there were 12 #1's ordered that afternoon (12 Big Mac's, fries, and diet cokes!) Sounds gross I know, but it was sooooo goooood!

Day 5 - Tour of Napali Coast

Chelsey, Mark, Lindsay, Kris, Benn, Amy, Dad, Mom, Ben & Kerry

Tues. May 11th - This day we were fortunate to go on a catamaran tour of the Napali Coast.  It was the most perfect day for a boat ride.  The water was calm and there was not even a slight breeze (until we were headed back into the harbor at the end of the tour).  Despite perfect conditions, my pregnant sister, Jody, was unable to go on the boat tour... apparently being pregnant is one of those heath conditions that doesn't allow you access to the boat tour.  Who knew?  So Jody and Cory ended up relaxing at the Waiohai all day.  We were shown beaches that were only accessible by boats and some of which have been used in movies like, "7 Days and 7 Nights" with Anne Heche and Harrison Ford.  The coast line was gorgeous!!!  There are really no words to describe it.  An amazing day!

Benn & Amy

Kris, Amy , Kerry, Ben & Mark

Hawaii - Day 4

May 10th - Queen's Bath, Hanalei Bay, Secret Beach & Keoki's.

Today was the designated day to head toward the north part of the island which takes about an hour from where we were staying. It's a gorgeous drive and nobody minds the time it takes to get up there, but we really packed it in this day. This was Ben Fogg's first time with us, so we had to do some repeats, like Queen's Bath. Last time we were there as a Rosander Family the current was quite strong, but today the "pool" was very calm and many were there jumping and snorkeling around.

We are all at the top of the trail ready to head towards Queen's Bath. Not sure what Benn and Cory are doin' here.

Jody and Cory

Kris and Lindsay

Mark and Chelsey

After Queen's Bath we got drinks and went to a beach we never had been too before, Hanalei Bay, to eat lunch. Not my favorite beach, especially with the dead carcass wrapped in a garbage sack stinkin up the place. We sat upwind. The view was nice and it was a great beach for young kids, but since we had no young kids with us, we ate and left.

Benn coolin' off at Hanalei Bay

Lunch at Hanalei Bay

We made a stop at one of our favorite beaches, Secret Beach. The waves were not too bad so we stayed for a while. If you click on the picture you can see the lighthouse in the background. Its a gorgeous beach, so I decided to show my gorgeous sister and her "euro" outfitted husband.

Kerry and Ben

Feeling beat and ready to eat at Keoki's.

Hawaii - Day 2 & 3

Saturday May 8th 2010

old condo

We survived our first night in Paradise, even though our condo was so far from paradise. We did get switched to a more adequate condo and it turned out to be very nice and pleasant. We loved it and loved waking up to this every morning!

Sunday May 9th 2010 - Mother's Day. We had a fabulous Mother's Day! I felt bad that I wasn't with my kids, but I got over that real quick :) We started out the day waking up to a beautiful sunrise, as we did every morning. We sat outside and read and talked (as we did every morning - nobody slept in) until it was time to go to church.

At church we had a lovely sacrament meeting that included a very mournful woman who confessed that she hadn't sung the song she was about to sing to us since her mother had passed away several years ago. I think it was entitled, "Ma ma ma Mother, I Love You." It was a little awkward, but she got through it and now we have nice song to sing every Mother's Day or any day for that matter. As we left we were handed long stem roses. I was hoping for some yummy chocolate or macadamia nuts, but roses are great too!

After sacrament meeting we headed to brunch. I cannot remember the name of this little bakery and restaurant, but it is soooo good! Just the regular pancakes are to die for!!

It was a gorgeous day and we couldn't wait to get out to the beach for some sun. This picture is of Benn throwing the football with Cory or Ben. We were waiting for the others to come over to our sweet condo so we could walk to Shipwreck Beach. And there was also a pool right outside our "lanai" that we took advantage of as well. Ahhh, such a relaxing day!!

Kerry

Mom & Dad

Me & Dad. Blowing up float for preggo sister, Jody

Rinsing off at the pool from the beach.

Cory, Mark, Chelsey, Ben, Kerry

Jody - 6 mo. pregnant

More Day One Pic

We are in LAX finally meeting up and grinning like kids in a candy store at this point :) Can't wait for Kauai!!!



This is all of us eating our first meal in Hawaii... at Costco. Food is so expensive in Hawaii, so this is our cheap meal for the entire trip. Gotta luv Costco!!!

Hawaii

My blog is depressing, the songs are depressing... enough of that!!! Time for something fun and happy, despite real life. So here are pictures of our Hawaii trip back in May. Luckily Benn lost his job after we got back, not before, so we look happy as can be :)

Day 1. May 7th - Our Hawaii adventure really started the night before, when at 9:45pm we got an automated phone call from the airlines saying that our flight had been cancelled for the next morning and that we had an alternate itinerary scheduled to leave Las Vegas a day later. This was not acceptable, so I immediately got on the phone with Delta and after talking until I was blue in the face and laughing instead of crying, I found out there were no other flights out of Las Vegas headed to SLC or LA where we could meet up with the other leg of our flight itinerary. I was asked by the agent helping us if we could get ourselves to Cedar City to fly out. Seriously??? That is the point I started to get hysterical. All we needed was to get a flight to either SLC or LA and there was nothing available until a day later on Delta. I could not believe it! To make this long and frustrating story shorter, after 90 minutes on the phone, I booked two flights to LA on Southwest Airlines (luckily my parents had some free flights we were able to use) and then fly to Kauai on Delta which was part of our original itinerary. We also received $400 in Delta credit, which we gave to my parents in trade for the Southwest vouchers.

Benn and I met up with my family in LA and we were all so giddy to be able to leave our kids and head to paradise for a week! I love my family and being with them is so much fun! We all had a fabulous time and were so glad it worked out that we could all go. You see, this trip was actually scheduled for November of 2009, but with my Dad's recent diagnosis of cancer, back in Aug., my Mom cancelled the trip. My brother, Mark and his wife would not have been able to go had the trip been in November because their twins were too young to leave. Now fast forward to May of 2010, twins are bigger and able to be left with Chelsey's sweet Mom. My Dad is feeling relatively good doing his chemotherapy once a week. So it all worked out for the best.

Mom, Jody & Cory making a Costco grocery list

Kerry

Cory & Ben showing off our sweet sleeping quarters and reading material

This last picture needs some explaining, if not just for me to document what happened. Unfortunately, we were not all able to stay at the Waiohai Marriott where my parents own a time share. My Mom made arrangement for the sisters (Kerry, Jody, myself & spouses) to stay in a condo down the street and when we opened the door to our humble abode, we were met with a wonderful stench of smoke and mold. It was a very rugged condo, the kind of condo that you wouldn't want to spend much time in.

Then there were the sleeping arrangements to work out. There were only two bedrooms and a sofa sleeper. Not to be petty, but Kerry and I (and spouses) had slept on the sofa sleepers the last time we were in Kauai. Jody happened to be pregnant the last time and this time. So there was an elephant in the room that nobody was talking about. I didn't want the sofa sleeper, Kerry didn't want the sleeper either, but here is Jody 5 months pregnant. We all sat up late, not discussing the inevitable topic of sleeping. Instead we talked about how gross this condo was, but how could we complain because we were in Hawaii for crying out loud!

Then we saw the cockroach and the gecko and wondered what other critters were joining us that night. About this time Benn found the harlequin romance books in the closet and brought one out to show the group. Cory was all over the book and decided to read us some random passages. Ummm... all I can say is that those are seriously disgusting books! Phrases from the book kept popping into conversation all week long sending all of us into laughter each time. Then a month later, the same book was wrapped up and given to Kerry for her birthday. I wonder if inventory was taken and my parents were charged $4 for the missing book.

Eventually, Jody decided that she couldn't sleep in the condo and went to sleep at the Marriott in one of the sofa sleepers there. Kerry/Ben & Benn/I were left to sleep in the moldy/smoky condo. We did live through the first night and the next day, arrangements were made for us to move condos; to a better, more livable space.

Playing With Others

From a young age, we noticed that Carter didn't play well with others. When he was 2 or 3, he would parallel play, play next to another child but not with them. This isn't so out of the ordinary for little kids, but as Carter got older it continued. He really didn't have any friends. I would make play dates with my friends and that's who his friends were. I think there were two boys that he played with regularly and often Carter would cry when I would drop him off. He was 3 1/2 - 4 years old by this time. The crying didn't throw me off, but Carter never got excited that these two boys would come over to our house. Not a big deal either. I figured that he was a boy and just wasn't as social as Kamryn was.

We have a plethora of boys in our neighbor hood. Too many, really! We need some more girls according to Kamryn. When Carter was 5 years old-ish, he would see the boys outside, get excited and shout out he wanted to go play with his "friends." He never called the kids by their names and I doubted that he knew their names at the time. He would run out and bounce into the middle of whatever was happening, start shouting to be heard and try to get every one's attention. He was only interested in playing when everything was on his own terms and if he didn't like what everyone else was playing he would do his own thing, but would usually try and still get attention. For example, if the boys were playing catch, he would ride his scooter, bike or whatever, through the group and shout things - "Hey look at me!" sort of comments.

He just didn't seem to understand how to play. When Kamryn would have her girlfriends come over, Carter would always try and be with them. This always ended up with lots of arguments. I would ask Carter if he wanted to invite a friend over and the answer was always "No." I can count on one hand how many times he ever answered "Yes" to that question. I stopped asking so frequently. I always thought that it was a bit strange that he never wanted a friend to come over, but if we had friends come over who happened to have a boy Carter's age then he was all excited to show them something or say something. He just seemed off in the playing scheme of things. Even if he had a friend over, often Carter would leave the kid doing whatever and be in a totally different area of the house. Sometimes in his room all by himself. He wouldn't ask the friend to come with him, he would just wander off.

This is still very much the case today. So when we found out about Carter's diagnosis, this was part of the "symptoms," if you will. Not being able to tune in naturally to other people make it difficult for him to take turns or play cooperatively. In a book I've read, it says that AS kids can feel confused about what people are doing, or what is expected of them. Thus, they are afraid to join in with games even if the child wants to be friendly. Sometimes things go too fast and they end up feeling muddled about what to do. This is why Carter likes to play on HIS terms and choose the rules. It's not because he's bossy, he just feels safer and less confused this way.

AS kids will often entertain themselves because they are "in-charge" and it's just easier. I have always said that Carter was never one who needed any entertaining. He always will find something to do. He is the easiest kid to have home and he will never bother you or pester you. Because of this, I never pushed the friends on him. It was easier not too.

Carter's tutors help him with this. I never thought a tutor would be useful in helping a child learn to play. Go figure! They teach him codes of conduct, how to explain rules, how to take turns and be patient. And best of all they teach him how to be a good loser. All of this happens in our home where everything can be controlled. The next big lesson will be to apply the "rules" among his peers. One time the tutors had Carter call a friend and ask him to come over to play. We realized the phone skills need some help, but all the "rules" went out the door when the friend came over. Carter had to be reminded a couple times by his tutor to let his friend choose what to do and not take charge of the situation.

This is something that I think will always be difficult, but with time can be made easier. I saw a clip on You Tube where Dr. Tony Attwood, an Asperger's specialist, described Asperger's perfectly. He basicly said that people don't suffer from Asperger's. They suffer from other people.

April Catch-Up - Easter

How could I forget Easter? I mean one of the most photographed holiday with kids all dressed in the Sunday outfits!!! Seriously, what's my blogging world coming to?

Well, we actually didn't get the Easter outfit pictures till a couple Sunday's after the fact. But I did get Easter morning pictures. It was general conference for our church, so we didn't attend church that morning. Carter and Mason were pretty stoked about that. I will not tell you what I learned from listening to our Prophet speak or his Apostles (which is a very popular thing for Mormon women to blog about), because I can't remember right off the bat. That's how good my memory is! I do know that I enjoyed the talks I was able to listen to... Good thing we have our entire lives to learn the gospel, right?

This is what the Easter Bunny left in their baskets

Yup, Carter has glasses. Kam too, but she decided not to wear them.

April Catch-Up - MY Time

After our fun filled and very exhausting birthday weekend, the kids went back to school & the next weekend, I took off with my BFF from college. I think I have some of the best friends around. I have good friends that I can count on to help me, listen to me moan and groan, and friends that invite us over for dinner and to hang out. I have friends that sympathize and try to understand. I have friends that I can end up talking to on the phone for a while when all they called to do was ask a question. I also have friends that love my kids more than I do on some days and are willing to watch them for days when I head out of town. I am so blessed in the friend area.

Stacy. She has been a good friend since we met in the Branbury Apartments in Provo in the fall of 1995. She took my old room that fall and I had to move into one of the back smaller rooms since I didn't pay for my spot by the deadline. Who knew this valley girl from Thousand Oaks, CA and I would still be making memories to this day? Stacy has recently moved back to Vegas and we decided that we needed a little weekend to ourselves, which revloved around getting our hair done.

You see, I have another good friend, who has done my hair for over 10 years, but the problem is she lives in SLC. At one point during the last decade she lived in NYC and I would make sure when she was home in SLC to visit, so was I, and we would meet up and get my hair done. So when It was that time again, there was no obvious break from school or any other reason to go to SLC. So I had to get Stacy involved to make a reason to go.

We left on a Thursday night and didn't arrive till the wee hours of the morning to my parents home. We were welcomed with a quiet home and large beds for each of us. We didn't have to carry any other luggage other than our own and we didn't have to settle anyone else into bed before we could fall into bed ourselves. And the best part, we didn't have to wake up until we wanted to the next morning!

Most of the day was spent getting our hair done. Then we briefly went our own ways to spend time with each of our families. That night, Friday night, we drove up to Park City to stay at her parents condo at the Canyons. We skiied for free the next day and it was wonderful! The conditions were great and it was so warm. All I had on was a vest and a long sleeve shirt. By mid-afternoon, my legs were beat. We walked our tired bodies back and went to sit in the spa. Aahhhh! I'm not one for a massage, but the thought of one did enter my mind then. I would have settled for a pedicure, but we were trying to keep our little trip on the less expensive side.

We ate at Kneaders that night. YUM! If you haven't been blessed with the opportunity to eat at Kneaders in Utah, next time you are up that way, find one and eat! We had to go to breakfast the next morning there because it was that good!!! Kneaders beats Panera Bread any day of the week and twice on Sunday!

I was exahusted by the time we rolled back into Vegas and to be honest, ready to be a mom and wife again. Being a single lady is tiring!!! I don't know how I did it all those years :0

(and I only got this one photo of our entire weekend! The camera thing is really bumming me out!)

April Catch-Up - Birthdays

During Spring Break we also celebrated Mason and Kamryn's birthdays. Mason's was April 1st and Kam's the 2nd. Nana and Pa flew in to hang out with us that weekend too. Too bad the weather turned sour... My parents stayed at the Luxor which had a fun pool, but it was a bit chilly and windy so we didn't stay too long when we went to swim. The kids loved the inside of the Luxor though. Escalators, the Food Court, throwing pennies into the water fountain, hanging out for brief moments in my parents hotel room, and riding the escalator again. It's so easy to entertain these little people. Just let them loose into a hotel and they can be entertained for hours!

To celebrate two birthdays, we took the kids to the Rain Forest Cafe. They loved it, especially when it thundered and rained! We had two cakes and had two nights of opening presents. Actually we had three cakes. Our sweet home teacher came by with a Nothing Bundt cake (and my favorite flavor too!) which made for a lot of cake at our home!

Mason got the coveted wii game, Mario Kart, along with his own scooter. Kam was easy. All she wanted was clothes. And she recieved plenty of those. And some itunes gift cards too. It was another successful two-day birthday event!