Today is December 1st and it started off well. I have to admit that lately I have been a bit "bi-polar." Not sure what to pin it down to, but I have several theories. One of which was my lack of consistent exercising. So today I set off the gym first thing once I got the kids off to school. Oh, how I need those endorphins! I love the sunshine and I vow to spend more time outside while it is still warm. Thus, my latest commitment to run in a Ragnar Relay with a good friend. I have never been a runner, but I'm kind of excited to train for it. I know those of you who have run marathons are probably laughing at my excitement, but for me this is a big step. I have never had the desire to run... outside. I started running a couple weeks ago, and I still haven't figured out how this is fun for lots of athletes. Maybe when my legs get stronger, I'll find that joy in running.
Another thing that I think has been missing is my lack of connecting spiritually. I love going to church each Sunday, but alone from that, I have to say that Monday through Saturday have been anything but spiritual. I have let my life get in the way. Feelings of self-pity, and stubbornness have crept in. I feel like I have been fighting new trials in my life, rather than trying to work through them. Particularly, Carter and his autism. I hate to say it, but sometimes, I think it just bites to have a special needs child. It's harder to communicate and be patient with a child who's brain doesn't work like mine. I'm not sure at all why I was chosen to be this child's Mom, cause I'm definitely not doing a stellar job at the moment, but in time, I hope that changes.
So instead of waiting until January to make my new year's resolutions, I have begun today. I will keep them to myself... that way you won't know when I fail. But you can probably guess a couple of them.
Now, on to positive thinking and doing!!!
4 comments:
so the running... honestly it's an acquired taste, i promise and with Carter... there is nobody better for him than you. Someone has a lot of faith and trust in you to send you such an amazing boy! I know not something you want to hear, but you're amazing!
Hang in there, cutie. You are simply awe-some. I love your tenacity and determination to make things better. *ah* What a great example you are, even in down times!
Amy, it was so good talking to you today. I am SO sorry for all that you and your family are and have been going through...so sorry. I am so sorry about your dad, I can't imagine how hard it must be. I will keep him and your family in my prayers. Please let me know if there is anything I can do. Your kids are so cute! ((((HUGS))))
I'm so impressed you started running! Are you doing the Wasatch Back or Vegas Ragnar? I'm doing the Wasatch Back this year. Maybe I'll see ya there!
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